Life Matters

The meaning of Valentine's Day

By LINDA PETERSEN
Posted 2/13/19

Valentine's Day has an extra special meaning to me because it was my mother's birthday. As a child, it seemed to me that she had to share her birthday, like those who have Christmas birthdays. She never minded sharing this day with all of the couples and

This item is available in full to subscribers.

Please log in to continue

E-mail
Password
Log in
Life Matters

The meaning of Valentine's Day

Posted

Valentine’s Day has an extra special meaning to me because it was my mother’s birthday. As a child, it seemed to me that she had to share her birthday, like those who have Christmas birthdays. She never minded sharing this day with all of the couples and significant others who were similarly celebrating. My dad always did take the extra time to make her his extra scrumptious homemade chocolate fudge, for which I was allowed to “lick the pan.”

As a child, I greatly enjoyed coloring my own Valentine’s Day Cards as an opportunity to express my creativity. My dad was an architect and had a steady hand. Mine was not, and I had difficulty enclosing a circular shape without the ends not matching. My straight lines were jagged, and my triangles looked like the musical one with an opening at the bottom. When designing cards, however, they could be Picasso-esque without looking out of place. When the pictures were done, they would be decorated with sequins, small feathers and buttons and then joyfully dispensed to everyone in my classroom. Yes, to everyone. Even as a child, I was sadly overcome by the social inequity of this activity. My heart sank as I watched the Valentines pile up on my desk, often overflowing to the ground, while another, less popular student would have only a few, or – how horrible – none except the one I gave them. Didn’t these children watch Mr. Rogers on television? Didn’t they know that everyone is their neighbor?

In general, Valentine’s Day is a special day to celebrate romance and love. It is usually celebrated by giving significant others flowers and gifts to demonstrate affection. It is celebrated in honor of St. Valentine, a third century Roman saint associated with love and marriage. (I suspect he used Cupid to hurry things along in those cases where the people did not yet know they were in love until an arrow pierces them in the bottom.)

Bulgaria celebrates February 14 as Winemaker’s Day, and couples celebrate their love by drinking wine. Those who live in Wales celebrate with the Welsh patron saint of lovers, Saint Dwynwen. They give each other beautifully carved wooden spoons. In Denmark and Norway, prospective suitors send their Valentine a sweet poem signed only in dots representing the number of letters in their names. If the recipient guesses whom it is from, a chocolate treasure comes their way. If not, they owe the poem sender the chocolate. Of course, they would have to figure who that is first…hmmmm…

In Ghana, Valentine’s Day is a day of extra oral stimulation for everyone who loves chocolate. Because they are one of the world’s largest growers of cocoa beans, they actually combine holidays to add National Chocolate Day to February 14. Germany, also a big chocolate producer, celebrates by giving candy pigs, thought to bring good fortune.

Of course, there are some countries that celebrate those who do not have a significant other. In France, women without men with whom to celebrate used to light a large bonfire in the middle of town and throw in photos and hand drawn pictures of the men who rejected them. The government finally stepped in to outlaw this practice due to the possible air pollution threat.

In South Korea, they celebrate “Black Day” where people without partners dine on meals of black sesame noodles. Unmarried women in the England place bay leaves on the corners of their pillows to encourage “sweet dreams” of the husband they have not yet met.

The country that meets my expectations is Finland where Valentine ’s Day is called “Friend’s Day,” and it is more about remembering friends than significant others. This is the tradition that appealed to me as a child. At the age where a true boyfriend had yet to be discovered, I liked to think of everyone as my friend, even the most misbehaving child in the class who ripped up my homework and spit on my shoes. To Fred Rogers, we were all neighbors and everyone was capable of being loved. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if that were true?

Comments

No comments on this item Please log in to comment by clicking here